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My car is back home Collecting residential parking tickets Even the temporary permit has expired

i’ve tried to write about the spring leaves they way they hold on barely clinging to the big branch that brought them earnestly absorbing, not a care in the world if only we could live lives like that attached to our branch, leaves destined to fall i want to hold on next to you i want the sun to suck us dry again on the beach in the sun on the ground there’s nothing left for me but that just the sun. just the water.

On one hand The only way out is through On the other Through is always the way out

the leaves are still left on their trees i wonder when they will fall

the world keeps spinning so grab on, hold tight, watch out remember beauty

my toxic bedroom open the curtains see the sun get up stupid don’t die hungry

we are addicts we never forget the urge we live besides it

she sells sea shells by the sea shore somewhat stalking she seems so for sure she’ll see this shortly

don’t worry son something softer this way comes


Maybe if I push myself just a little harder I will forget you Maybe if I push myself just a little harder I will forget you Maybe if I push myself just a little harder I will forget you Maybe if I push myself just a little harder I will forget you Maybe if I push myself just a little harder I will forget you Maybe if I push myself just a little harder I will forget you


still sleeping on the couch next to the ghost of us


a life borrowed repaid in grief

and so we wait side by side but far apart a tale of two souls who didn’t know they were lost until they found each other


I still wish for you on every eyelash

seeking calmer days a moment’s rest is broken by skull kid girl


slowly slipping away i’m begging it to stay but I need it to go


I worry for a second that we might not make it. I look up, we smile, and I realize how dumb that thought was.

warm midday slumber party it feels like we could spend an eternity just being us

almost done or maybe not whatever

if my life was a McDonalds order, I’d defintely order a small fry with it

it would be an honor to be woken up by your midnight stirrings

I can’t tell which one is the waiting when I am without you or when I am with you

the world keeps spinning the closer we are the slower it gets


The first time I met you I forgot how to imagine my life without you in it

bar lit lip biting our thick personal fog didn’t we just meet

first a blanket then a crack then nothing at all


Like the leaves and the wind. We need each other but we aren’t sure why.

All these books, but all I want to read is the story of us

My heart is full of holes one the shape of you cut into an unperfect whole the empty space just as meaninful as what remains i wonder each time what will convince me to let the next person take their piece Remember we are not just what is left but also what we have lost. We don’t exist only within ourselves but inside the ones who love the pieces we gave them

Not many people have really seen me. There’s not many who would care if I stopped, if I changed, if I didn’t try as hard, if I stopped loving this way, if my fire went out. You are one of the few who saw me for who I am. Who looked through and let me let you see the brilliance I hold in side. The parts of me I keep to myself because I know they’d use them against me. The confused, scary, loving, fearful, anxious and beautiful parts. I am scared that I lost you because I know what parts of me you take with you. I’m scared that I lost you because I know what parts of you I take with me. I’m scared that I lost you

Swimming without you I can remember how it felt Watching you try not to drink the salt water Listening to you ask me to marry you Water land is no fun on your own

The air is so thick I can feel it on my skin Unfortunately that reminds me of you The water is so cool but I am alone in it The water reminds me of you The wind in the trees sounds like your breath on my ear The cars on the street hold the smiles of happy couples holding hands Unfortunately they remind me of you I can’t stop reading a book I know you’ll love Unfortunately that reminds me of you My hands feel empty my heart so fucking heavy Unfortunately that reminds me of you


though it’s quiet out i hear your voice on the wind always

she was the waves and i was the beach

parking next to me metaphorically and literally waiting for you to come back

pretending not to care but i can still smell you

she’s something lovely it’s so bright outside despite the gloom


pull back the haze make me who I want to be not who I am

I’ll be asleep before the food gets here Never done this first time for it She hums while we wait for it to pass through Its just the life we live not fair

lately I been feeling like a middle child forced to be creative for attention

metaphorically me ta phor ic al ly


maybe not forever but definitely today as long as possible


Marry me, marry me We’ll buy a house in the country With a porch 3 kids and a dog We will sell furniture, yarn And maybe video blog about it from everything I know about you and everything I will learn you’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever met have a happy 27th year happy birthday love Mike

maybe not forever but definitely today as long as possible

You know this already My heart is yours to break Godamnit Yankee


Well I don’t really know what to say I’ve only really known you for 3 months But it’s felt like so much longer


midnights, cigarettes awful ideas behind brown eyes godamnit yankee

midnights, cigarettes stupid jokes with new friends drinking with yankee

brown eyes, big smile pizza desperate for more


morning cold burning into warmer days

complex headaches relive last night slowly the joyful coaster


do i want to know drunk me avoiding drunk you crave quiet places

another drunk text not sure i will ever learn crave quiet places

can help but hear it space between your sentences crave quiet places

Before that

could talk forever maybe someday we’ll run out then what

bent never broken goodnight sleep well i love you everyday always

fallen but we grew i really love you for life seven years always